


Cannon Fodder

by Cerdic519



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-12-25 23:55:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/959115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerdic519/pseuds/Cerdic519
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel's adaptation to being human isn't going well. Then two words he says in all innocence shake Dean to the core, and he realizes that the tentative relationship he's been building up with the former angel isn't enough. He needs help. Which means..... Gabriel!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cannon Fodder

Two words. That was all it took to leave Dean Winchester feeling more emotionally wrecked than at any time in his life, including, Hell, Purgatory and everything in between.  
Two words. Eight consonants, four vowels. Twelve letters. A simple, English phrase, uttered in all innocence by the man he loved.  
Two words, and Dean knew. He couldn't go on like this. He had to do something.  
And in the small hours of September 12th, he began to plan. It was terrifyingly simple, but also terrifying in that it meant gambling everything he had worked so hard for since the Apocalypse had so narrowly been averted.  
Two words.  
But he would need help.

Castiel was no longer an angel. The past few months had been spent with Dean and Sam helping him adapt to actually running a human body that didn't rely on angel mojo to bat away daily functions such as eating and sleeping. It had been frustrating at first, but by the time Sam went back to California two weeks ago, Dean had felt they were making progress. True, Castiel forgot the occasional meal and that, but he had seemed to be adapting. And best of all, he and Dean had finally admitted to their feelings for each other, and now slept in the same bed. There was nothing more, but for Dean this was enough. He loved Castiel too much to push for more.  
Since Sam's departure, however, something had changed. Castiel had become more withdrawn, and sometimes Dean caught him eyeing the hunter anxiously. The night before he had tackled him about it, and extracted an admission that the former angel felt he was holding Dean back. This had led into a discussion as to why Castiel felt so worthless, and to those two fateful words when Dean had wondered if it hadn't been fate that it was Castiel who found and raised him. The former angel had explained, quite calmly, that he had been impressed into the Heavenly army at the last minute, and when Dean asked why, he uttered those two dreadful words:  
Cannon fodder.  
Two words that left Dean crying at the sheer unfairness of it all. He held Castiel tighter than ever that night, and was still holding him when the former angel finally fell asleep. But Dean stayed awake. He was a soldier in his own way, but the thought of some heavenly general just signing a bit of paper that forced the man he loved onto the battlefield – it was too much.  
So Dean hatched a plan. And once he was sure Castiel was asleep, he slipped off to the kitchen, to talk to the one person who might be able to help him.  
If, of course, he was still alive.

Gabriel stared at Dean in amazement.  
“Let me get this right”, he said slowly. “You, Dean Winchester, summoned me, the Archangel Gabriel, to ask a favour?”  
Dean noticed that there was something odd about the way his visitor said that. The old Gabriel, who'd put his life on the line to help prevent the Apocalypse, would have made at least one snarky comment, more likely several.  
“I need help”, Dean admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.  
“Sam or Cassie?” the archangel asked.  
“Cas. He's.. not getting any better. He thinks he's holding me back.”  
“Then prove him wrong.”  
“I intend to.”  
“How?”  
Dean told him, and enjoyed a rare moment of seeing an archangel gobsmacked.  
“But I need your help”, Dean went on. “I need something that will keep Cas busy for the next five days, at least. A book he has to do something with, maybe?”  
Gabriel seemed to snap out of his trance.  
“You humans!” he said with a hint of his old attitude. “I don't think I'll ever fully get you. Sure. I can dig out a book on old sigils that only Cas can translate. It'll arrive from Sam first thing tomorrow morning, and I'll make sure the sasquatch thinks he sent it, just in case Cas asks.”  
“Thanks”, said Dean. “Oh, talking of which, one more thing....”  
“Another favour?”  
“Yes. But from me to you, this time.”  
A briefer moment, but the angelic discomfiture was back.  
“What?” Gabriel said warily.  
“Don't give up on Sam. He thinks you're dead, but he still misses you.”  
“You'd better not be having me on!” Gabriel looked furious.  
“That book you gave him. He's read it almost constantly since the battle. And when he lost it that one time, he threw a fit. I know you and I haven't..... who am I kidding; we hate each other. But if Sam chose you, and the two of you loved each other, then.... I'd give both of you my blessing.”  
A third stunned moment.  
“I'd better go”, Gabriel muttered. “If this goes on, I might actually start liking you. And my rep would be toast!”  
He vanished. Dean smiled, then went back to the bedroom, to find Castiel had, predictably, spread himself across the bed and hogged all the pillows. Dean managed to slip in beside him, wrapping his larger figure around the man, but he didn't sleep.  
He had six of the most important days of his life to plan.

“You're sure you don't mind, Dean?” Castiel asked for the fifth time.  
“Still sure”, Dean grinned. “If the sasquatch thinks it's important, then it's important. Use the desk in my room, and I'll bring you food and drink when you need it. I've got a few things to do around the house, and I need to make a few shopping trips to get stuff, but I'll be around if you need me. And I'll be there for you at night, of course.”  
Castiel blushed fiercely.  
“Go study, professor”, Dean said, pushing him gently. “I'm in town all morning, but I'll bring you back cheeseburgers for lunch around one, from that place you like. Okay?”  
“Okay”, Castiel smiled, looking happier than he had for some time.  
Dean would give anything to keep that look on Castiel's face. Anything.

That morning he managed the jewellers, the bakery and the clothes store, before running out of time and heading back home. Where he nearly had an unpleasant surprise over lunch.  
“That book Sam sent me is unusual”, Castiel said.  
Dean froze.  
“Hey, it's a book on ancient sigils”, he said lightly. “Not something you usually find just lying around.”  
“Yes. Except he did.”  
“Who did?”  
“Sam. He says he found it in an old second-hand bookshop. But when he went back there today, the shop had gone.”  
“Freaky”, said Dean. “Is the book any good?”  
“Possibly. I have already translated a useful ward against succubi. But it will need several days work to go all the way through it. Are you sure you don't mind, Dean?”  
“Cas.”  
“What?”  
“You actually enjoy working with books, don't you?”  
Castiel blushed.  
“Yes”, he admitted, making it sound almost wrong.  
“Cas, if this makes you happy, then do it. I want you to be happy. We've been through a lot together. We deserve a bit of happiness.”  
“You deserve it, Dean.”  
Dean grabbed Castiel's shoulders, taking the former angel by surprise.  
“We, Cas, we! If you're happy, then I'm happy. And if you're miserable, that makes me miserable. Be happy for me, Cas. Please?”  
He threw one of his most winning smiles across, and was rewarded when he saw the former angel's eyes crinkling at the corners.  
“I will try, Dean.”  
“Thanks, Cas.”

Two days later, Dean found he had four emails from Sam, the first three each with an attachment. The first one read 'he's back!”, and had a close-up shot of what looked like golden wings. The second read 'his front', and showed Gabriel's top half sleeping comfortably on Sam's broad chest. The third read 'his you know', and Dean decided he might need to start seeing a therapist when he was a fraction too slow in preventing himself from opening the attachment to that one.  
Some time later, and after a very strong coffee, he opened the fourth, and found a latter from Gabriel to Castiel, with instructions to print it off for him now, saying that he and Sam would visit on the 19th. Castiel wept when he was given this, but they were tears of joy, and Dean felt happier than he'd done for a long time when they fell into bed together that night.

On the night of the 17th everything was in place, only for Castiel to throw a belated spanner in the works. He was late to bed, having put in two hours extra to finish the book, and when he slipped in beside Dean, the hunter cuddled him close, waiting for him to drift off.  
“Dean!”  
“Mmm, Cas?”  
“I... I think I'm ready.”  
“For what?”, Dean muttered, already half-asleep.  
“For us.”  
That woke Dean up with a start. He stared at Castiel in horror, then felt terrible as the former angel seemed to back away from him.  
“But... I understand if you don't want.... I mean, it was presumptuous....” Cas stuttered.  
“Cas!”  
“Yes?”  
“I'm ready too. I've been ready for a long time. But, it's late, we're both tired, and.... this is one of the most important things we're ever going to do with each other. I want it to be right, and I need my full faculties. The answer is yes – oh so yes! – but give me twenty-four hours. One day, and then..... yes.”  
“But you'll still kiss me?”  
“No.”  
“Why not?” Castiel sounded hurt.  
“Because I'm only human, Cas”, Dean growled. “And right now, it's taking every bit of self-control I have not to jump you and take you right here and now. But you deserve better than that. Let me just hold you, please. Just for tonight. Tomorrow will be different.”  
Castiel seemed to relax at that.  
“I trust you, Dean.”  
“Cas?”  
“Dean?”  
“I love you.”  
Castiel froze. For one awful minute Dean thought he was about to make a run for it.  
“You've never said that before.” Castiel sounded almost accusing.  
“Chick-flick moments. Hate them. But with you, it's okay, Because it's true. I love you so much, it hurts. Sleep, my prince.”  
Castiel snuggled back into him, and within minutes the two of them were asleep.

Castiel awoke the next morning to a wonderful smell. He sat up, and found a small bell next to the bed with a note attached, stating 'ring when you're awake'. Puzzled, he did so, and just a few minutes later Dean was entering the room with a tray, containing Castiel's favourite croissants, a plate of crispy bacon, his morning tea and a gold envelope. He stared at Dean puzzled. The hunter actually seemed nervous. Did he regret last night in some way?  
Dean gently placed the tray on the bedside table, then handed the envelope to Castiel, who stared at it for a while before deciding to open it. Inside was a simple birthday card, with a picture of an angel at prayer. An angel with black wings. He stared at Dean, confused.  
“I don't understand?”  
“Happy birthday, Cas.”  
“But Dean, angels don't have birthdays. We came into existence long before your modern calendar.”  
“I know. But you're human now, and if you're going to have to put up with all the crappy stuff of being one of us, then I'm going to make damned sure you get the good stuff as well. Holidays, Christmas, birthdays, the lot. And today is now officially your birthday.”  
“But why September 18th? It does not hold any religious significance..... oh”. His voice trailed off as he suddenly realized.  
“The day you saved my sorry butt. This day will always be special to me, Cas, just as you'll always be special to me. I wanted to put the two together. This is going to be your day, and we're going to do everything and anything you want. Okay?”  
Castiel looked hard at him.  
“You've been planning this for some time, haven't you?” he asked eventually.  
Dean nodded.  
“And the book? Gabriel's doing, I suppose?”  
He nodded again.  
“You asked Gabriel for help?”  
“Took a lot. But he's almost family – heck he probably is by now. And I'd do anything for you, Cas. Anything. Now, enjoy your food, then get dressed and come downstairs.”  
“You're not going to stay with me?”  
Dean suddenly looked straight at him, and Castiel almost recoiled. The hunter looked positively feral.  
“I'm only human, Cas”, he reminded him, his voice sounding almost as deep as the former angel's. “Tonight, if you still want, we'll do it. I have to... control myself. I'm going to do right by you, if it kills me!”

It nearly did. But Dean managed to keep his hands off of the former angel for most of that day.  
Apart from the kissing in the Impala.  
And the groping in the changing room at the clothes store.  
And the prolongued hug at the animal shelter.  
And five other incidents, which were relatively minor but exceedingly pleasant.  
But somehow Dean's integrity and Castiel's clothes were both still intact by the evening. Just.

Dean had ordered Castiel's favourite pizza that evening, and got in his favourite strawberry-and-lemon ice-cream. So there was little to no washing-up and they were both pleasantly full by bedtime. Even so, when Castiel looked across at him and asked him simply, “Ready?”, Dean blushed furiously.  
“One more surprise”, he smiled.  
The box had been steadily burning a whole in his pocket for the past hour, and now it seemed to have somehow become entangled in his handkerchief. Having finally sorted himself out, he asked Castiel to stand up. Looking puzzled, the former angel did so. Dean then got down on one knee in front of him.  
“Dean? What are you doing?” He sounded faintly alarmed.  
“Castiel, I've known you since forever, but only recently have I been honest with myself. There can never be anyone but you for me. I love you, Castiel, and I want to always be with you. You know everything there is to know about me, the good and the bad, yet you have never walked away. Please, would you do me the honour of marrying me?”  
Castiel stared at him, open-mouthed.  
“Dean?” he said faintly.  
Dean took out the rings, and held them both up in his hand.  
“I had 'Dean' and 'Cas' engraved on them”, he said, still watching the former angel's face intently. “I was going to add a 'W' on each for Winchester, but if you're unhappy with that....”  
Castiel slowly reached out, and took up the ring with Dean's name on it. He stared at it for the moment as if he couldn't quite grasp the concept, then carefully fitted it onto his ring finger. Then he took up the other ring, kissed it gently, and slid it onto Dean's finger.  
“Yes!” he whispered. “A thousand times, yes!”  
And Dean kissed him.

It was perhaps fortunate that Dean had had the foresight to set the alarm clock earlier that say, so they did manage to drag themselves out of bed before Sam and Gabriel arrived. And if Castiel had a sloppy grin on his face and half of his clothes were Dean's, and if Dean's legs were a little more bowed than usual and he had a hickey the size of Texas on his neck, then their brothers were kind enough not to make comments about it.  
At least, not until dinner had been served, anyway.


End file.
